


Only You

by Benobi



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gender Neutral Deputy, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader is Deputy (Far Cry), Slow Burn, but this is far cry, everybody is an asshole, more characters will be added in time, not tagging Stockholm Syndrome but yeah kinda, this relationship wont be entirely healthy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-14 15:44:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15392070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benobi/pseuds/Benobi
Summary: Jacob Seed tells you to go, giving you freedom. You soon realise, though, that your freedom comes with a price and a choice.





	1. Then you pounced.

When you first awoke, many sensations flooded you, almost overwhelmingly so. A sharp pain began at your ear and spread over your head and behind your eyes. The rest of your body throbbed with a dull ache, so much so that the tiniest movement caused groans to rip from your throat. Having such a focus on your pains, it took you opening your eyes and getting blinded by the sun for you to notice you were outside. 

You squinted at the sky, the clouded blue cut off by the tops of trees. Your vision warped, so you had to rub your eyes hard. “Crap.” You hissed, slowly leaning up on your elbows. As your vision came into focus, a small movement at the corner of your eye proved you weren’t alone.

As if your body was reacting on autopilot, you gasped and kicked yourself away until you hit a tree. Your back screamed in agony at the impact. Blue eyes bore into you, twinkling with the barest hint of amusement.

Jacob.

Fear overtook for a moment, but then realisation kicked in. Jacob was leaning against a tree… Eating an apple. His knife gleamed as the light reflected off it. It sliced into the apple and he popped it into his mouth. All the time he stared at you. It was uncomfortably methodical.

"Wha… What the fuck?” You spat out, chest heaving. No other question felt more appropriate than that. An amused scoff emanated from Jacob’s throat, yet no answer followed.

A tense silence appeared quickly, as if he was watching to see what you would do next. Unease settled in you deeper than the ache. Jacob simply continued to eat.

“What are you doing?” You huffed, already feeling your irritation rising. You know you lived up to your appointed sin well.

Jacob’s brow furrowed, looking at you as if you were stupid. You certainly felt it. Maybe being knocked of your head so often was finally taking its toll. “I’m eating,” He scoffed again with apple in his mouth. “Clearly.”

Now it really felt like you were being fucked with. With your head pounding so sharply like it was, you were not in the mood. “What weird training bullshit is this now?” You snarled, but the air left your lungs momentarily when Jacob glared, those blue eyes cutting sharper than any knife. Even in this nonchalant way he was acting, he was clearly still not to be provoked.

“What’s with all the fucking questions?” He grumbled, obviously not going to entertain your anxiety. “Just go.” He added with a shrug.

“W-what?”

“Did I stutter?” He asked rhetorically, more force in his voice. “I have no use for you right now. Go pretend to be a hero somewhere else.”

You wanted to bite back but you wondered if that’s what he wanted. Even with a suspected head injury, you weren’t idiotic enough to give a much bigger and stronger enemy any motivation to cave your head in. You strongly suspected you were unarmed too.

However, you concluded internally, this was a trick or a test of some sort. It had to be. Shakily, you rose, gripping into the bark of the tree so hard you probably had splinters. Once you were on your feet, a quick glance in Jacob’s direction proved he was staring.

No, not staring. Watching. Intently.

A shiver ran down your spine. Your legs felt useless as you walked a few steps. Finding your footing, you ran as fast as your trembling legs would allow, which was more of a jog than a run.

As your muscles became more used to the movement, your jog became a more determined run. You don’t know what compelled you to look over your shoulder but you did. A gasp escaped your mouth as your eyes widened. Jacob hadn’t oved but his eyes were locked onto you. The blue almost seemed to be glowing.

What spooked you the most was the grin on his face.

That was enough to motivate you to sprint.

Your mind raced alongside you. Who would help you in your time of need? Eli was the first to come to mind. As soon as that thought came, another followed; what if this was some elaborate plot to lead Jacob to the Wolves Den? You groaned. So that idea was definitely voided.

Plenty of people could come pick you up if you called, most of whom you called friends, but you had no idea where you were. Even if you had a radio, who knows how long it would take for them to find you? The Whitetail Mountains were dangerous enough in the daytime, even fully armed. Stumbling around in the dark, unarmed and in the state you were in, would be a big mistake. And judging by the placement of the sun, nightfall would be upon you in a few hours.

Your choices were extremely limited and you knew it.

“Fuck.” You panted, legs still pumping, mostly in fear that any Judges would be biting at your ankles any second.

Left with no choice, you had to find a building with a radio. That was the first task. Or, at least, it would have been if you had realised how steep the approaching hill was.

You yelped as your feet twisted under you, throwing you down the hill. You threw your hands out to try and catch yourself, but your hands couldn’t find purchase on the ground. The speed picked up until you landed on your back at the bottom, all the air being battered out of your lungs.

A car stopped a few feet ahead of you, making you realise the hill had dumped you at the side of the road. You lay deathly still, in fear it was a car full of Peggies. Where Jacob seemed content to let you go, you doubted a group of Peggies would allow you the same courtesy.

Feet hit the ground and a car door slammed. Slowly, you creeped a hand out to grab hold of a particularly heavy feeling rock. As the person approached, you shot up into a sitting position, arm extended to throw the rock and brain whoever was walking. You managed to stop just in time upon the person’s fearful shriek.

“Hurk?” You breathed, arm still up. You had been so convinced it was a Peggie, you could hardly believe your eyes.

“Goddamn, Deputy!” Hurk exclaimed, placing his hand over his heart. “I thought it were you. I jus’ wanted to check if ya were okay.” He breathed a sigh of relief when you finally lowered your arm, allowing the rock to rollaway. You held up that same hand to be helped up and Hurk hurried to do so.

Your entire body screamed in pain as Hurk yanked you up, which also caused you to groan. Hurk looked at you, concerned. “Dude, if you’d’ve fallen a second later, I would have hit ya with my car.”

You shot him a look. “That’s… Really reassuring. Thanks.”

Anyone else would have understood the sarcasm, but Hurk grinned like the dumb redneck he was, pleased with himself that he didn’t leave you like roadkill.

“Listen, buddy, can you take me back to Fall’s End?” You sighed softly, everything within you begging for a bath. “Mary-May has a room for me and I really just wanna… Unwind.”

Hurk nodded enthusiastically. He seemed fairly happy to help you, but most people did. You were well liked by the community. You made your way to his car, grateful for a seat that wasn’t the ground. Hurk made small talk, mostly about himself or Kyrat. You gave noncommittal responses when needed, but your mind was elsewhere.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Jacob’s smile as you had run away from him.

***

Lowering yourself into the bath proved more difficult than anticipated. You gritted your teeth, swearing and hissing as your body protested against the scalding water. Managing to settle, you closed your eyes for a moment.

After Hurk had dropped you off at the Spread Eagle, you had discovered Sharky nursing a drink. He had made you promise to come back down for a drink and you agreed, if he called Nick to come out too. Sharky had grinned excitedly and immediately went for his radio.

As you washed your body, your mind couldn’t help but go back to Jacob and your strange interaction. You tried to think back on the events leading up to it. You were never usually blissed when you were in The Whitetail Mountains, but even then, was it even bliss they had used? You remembered Peggies grabbing you, then you felt a sharp pain before losing consciousness. There was none of the typical buzz or haze bliss always brought, just drowsiness and then sleep. You didn’t know how much time had passed before you woke again, but it was long enough to stiffen your muscles to the point of agony.

And then Jacob. His words and actions were still a mystery to you. A sickly feeling remained within you, like an unrelenting dread. He had to be up to something. You didn’t know what, but a terrible voice at the back of your head warned that you would find out soon enough.

Another thing that bothered you was just how attracted you were to Jacob. The tall, handsome, muscular brooding redhead? That was absolutely your type on paper. Frowning at yourself, you hated thinking that way about any of the Seeds. Damn genetics. You dunked your head underwater to drown anymore similar thoughts.

It was time to get drunk.

***

Feeling clean and a lot more fresh, you descended the stairs and found the bar to be fairly bustling. Sharky had kept his side of the bargain and had summoned Nick, who was sitting across from him. The disco nerd saw you first and waved. Nick followed his attention, smiling pleasantly at you. You breathed out, relaxation finally covering the anxiety like a blanket. At least you could forget your problems now, if only for the night.

“You would not believe the day I’ve had.” You sighed, smiling thankfully when Nick pushed a bottle of beer in your direction.

“We’re all ears, Dep.” Nick replied, but you shook your head.

“That’s a ‘fairly buzzed’ conversation.” You huffed, bringing the bottle to your lips. “One of you take the reins.”

And so they did. Nick told you how Kim was getting on, mentioning she was less than two weeks away from her due date now. Sharky bragged about his usual angel roasting shenanigans, showing off his newest scar.

On your third beer, you began to explain the weird day you had with Jacob.

“You think he was tryin’ to get you to lead him to Eli and the rest of them?” Nick asked and you shrugged.

“I feel like that’s the most likely answer.” You frowned, sticking your pinkie in your sore ear and wiggling it. You felt your ears ringing a little uncomfortably.

“I bet Jacob fucks his wolves. He seems like the dog fuckin’ kinda guy.” Sharky commented, causing Nick to almost spit out his beer. “Hear me out, look at the guy!”

Nick laughed hard as Sharky continued. You would have laughed along if the ringing hadn’t gotten worse. It became solid white noise, drowning out all the background noise and voices. You felt vibrations crawl from your throat, unable to control it. You barely noticed Sharky and Nick stopping their conversation to stare at you. All you could focus on was the gradually intensifying noise in your head and the rumble from your throat that you couldn’t hear.

Nick touched your shoulder as you blinked hard, squeezing your eyes shut for a few seconds. You felt your fingers flex around your beer bottle, tightening. Opening your eyes, you hardly registered the red seeping into the corners of your sight before you were twisting and smashing the bottle into Nick’s face. 

You were only vaguely aware of the chaos that ensued around you. The chair you had been sitting on collapsed as you jerked up, staring down at Nick, who was hunched away from you and clutching his bleeding face. Your hand fumbled for the gun attached to your thigh, but Sharky was on top of you before you could grab it properly. He had leapt across the table, physically tackling you to the ground and wrestling with you. He grabbed the firearm just as the red faded. The ringing and humming remained. He stood over you, holding the gun in a badly trembling hand. The emotion was evident in his eyes, wanting to be anything other train train a weapon on someone he considered a best friend. His lips moved but you heard nothing.

Your eyes darted to Nick, who was looking at your fearfully through one eye. Mary-May was helping him, holding a cloth to his face. As you looked around, you noticed many bar patrons now standing, pointing their guns in your direction. They all had the same apprehension in their faces, hesitant to start firing at their beloved deputy.

Panic overwhelmed you as the red mist crept back in. You stumbled to your feet, making a speedy beeline for the door. You burst through the door, sprinting up the street to get out of the town. You were sure you heard Sharky yell for you, but you didn’t let that stop you. You couldn’t.

You ran for what felt like hours, under the cover of nightfall, your crimson vision heightening all of your senses. You had no idea where you were, despite passing a few dozen road signs. You made a turn, dashing into the woods. 

A rustle in the leaves forced you to stop, eyes wide like a wild animal listing for its prey. Several metres ahead, a doe appeared, gently trotting past the trees. It was alone.

Your head ducked and shoulders set back. You yearned for something to take your rage out on.

A snarl rippled through your lips, over the vibrations, then you pounced.


	2. Is that you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience with uploading. It's always going to be a bit irregular. I'm fairly happy with how this chapter came out! 
> 
> Comments, Kudos and the lot are always appreciated :)

Before you even opened your eyes, you knew you were outside again, if the uneven surface you were lying on was anything to go by. The stench of stale blood invaded your senses, causing you to gag.

Your eyes shot open as you leapt up into a sitting position, spitting out saliva that appeared suddenly, preparing you for vomit that never came. The sickly smell remained, now accompanied by a soft, yet harsh rumble. You turned your head up. Horror rippled through you at the scene.

A doe lay on the ground, its neck twisted in an unnatural way. On the other side, stood a cougar. Blood soaked its muzzle and other odd parts of its face. Its wide eyes were locked onto you. Quickly, you realised the rumble was a growl coming from the animal. It either saw you and a side dish to the main meal, or as a threat to its breakfast. Either way, it was pissed off.

“Oh, you’re not Peaches.” You breathed, raising your hand slowly. It glanced between your palm and back to your face. It was pointless trying to calm a wild animal. You realised soon all you were doing was stalling the inevitable. You watched as it stepped slowly over the corpse, eyes now locked onto your form.

In a panic, your hand slapped down on your thigh, desperately trying to find your handgun. A flash of a memory flooded your vision for a brief second. It replayed Sharky tackling you like a football player and pointing your own gun at you. You ran out before you could retrieve it. You remembered something else. Oh god Nick-

The movement of your hand startled the cougar to spit angrily at you. You winced, wondering for an awful second if this was the end.

A blur of grey caused you to scream. Something had leapt from the trees and tackled the big cat to the dirt in a flurry of snarls and teeth.

You kicked back, eager to make space between you and the fighting animals. The blur of grey now made sense as your eyes focused through the panic. A wolf. Its jaws clamped down on the cougar’s neck. The feline struggled under the vice grip of jaws, but lost the battle quickly, going limp in the stronger animal’s mouth.

A new fear filled you as the wolf dropped the body, sniffing the air before whipping its head to you.

“Are you fucking kidding me.” You hissed. It wasn’t a plain old wolf. You wouldn’t be that lucky. No, it was a Judge. It quickly made sense. Of course it took down the cougar so easily. It was more than just a natural predator; it was a dangerously trained killer. The red cross on its head showed that. It stared at you with yellow eyes dead on, taking a step towards you. “Nononono-“

Your panic was sliced in two by a sharp whistle. Both you and the wolf’s head whipped up towards where it was originally burst through the trees. Despite the animal being momentarily sated, you feared their owner would simply set it on you. After all, it was only Peggies that owned these fearsome creatures.

The slow clump of footfall was followed by the rustle of a bash, when the human finally came into view.  
Of fucking course it was Jacob.

He gazed at you for a moment, before his eyes rested on the bloody carnage. He whistled in a mock appreciative tone.

“Messy work.” He commented. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, you found yourself utterly baffled in Jacob’s presence again.  
“Wha…” You mumbled, looking at the two dead animals and back at him. “You think… No, I-I didn’t do this.” The crack in your voice infuriated you beyond belief. 

Showing any weakness to this redheaded monster was a mistake, but your exhaustion seemed to overtake common sense.

He smirked, yet again seeming to take enjoyment out of your confusion. “I’m no detective, but I think I caught you red handed. Literally.” He nodded towards your hands.

Slowly, you looked at them. They were caked in dried blood all the way to your elbows. Clumps had formed under your fingers nails. Then, once again, it all came flashing back. The doe appearing from the darkness, unaware of its fate. You remember angling your body like a wild animal; like a wolf. You remember pouncing, snapping the poor animal’s neck under the your weight as you collided with it. You hadn’t stopped there. You had punched and ripped at its skin furiously until the red in your vision was replaced by a real red.

Swiftly turning away from Jacob, you finally threw up what very little was in your stomach. It was mostly alcohol. Jacob chuckled as you coughed and gagged at the thought of what you’d done. It pissed you off that you were vomiting at a little blood. You had seen worse scenes than this.

However, you had never been the cause before.

“Throwing up at a couple dead animals.” Jacob commented casually, as if he were discussing the weather. “You’re as weak as your stomach.”

“Piss off.” You spat, chest heaving as you willed yourself not to puke again.

“Fine.” He shrugged, whistling again to his wolf. You had almost forgotten it was there. It bounded over to Jacob, waiting obediently at his heels.

Your head whipped up from where you sat. “Wait!” You called. Jacob froze, looking back down at you. You opened your mouth to talk, before it faltered. Why the hell were you shouting on him. The silence made Jacob raise an eyebrow. “I…” You began before groaning. “You did this! Your conditioning bullshit has messed with my brain, ever more so than usual.”

Jacob’s eyebrow went from raised to furrowed. “What do you mean?” He asked inquisitively, crossing those big arms across his chest.

“I mean, my vision got all weird and fucked up last night like it does when I hear that fucking song.” You grumbled. A sudden lump hit your throat when you opened your mouth to speak about your actions. Fuck, you would have to find a way to apologise to Nick. “I didn’t hear anything, though, other than this ringing. I started humming and I… I attacked my friends. Out of fucking nowhere. The song wasn’t playing. I wasn’t even in the mountains!”

You wanted to cover your eyes as they began to sting with the threat of tears. You didn’t dare touch your face with your blood crusted hands though. You turned your head away from Jacob, blinking rapidly and spitting, pretending to get the taste of sick out your mouth.

The man hummed to himself, looking like he was at least thinking about what you were saying. “Maybe the conditioning has more side effects than we first thought.” He wondered aloud. You imagined that wasn’t for your benefit. “I’ll need to look into it.” Unexpectedly, he took a large step and began walking away from you.

Hauling yourself up on shaky legs, you powered through it, running up behind the man. Before he could turn and react to you running up behind him, you grabbed the back of his army fatigue shirt. “You need to fix this.” You spat, grasping the fabric in a tight fist.

Jacob twisted an arm around faster than you could leap back, his large hand tightening around your wrist and getting you off him instantly. “Why the fuck should I? I don’t need to do anything.” He growled, glaring down at you. You realised, uncomfortably, how close you both were.

“Listen,” You huffed, trying to wretch your arm back, but Jacob's grip was unrelenting. “Clearly there’s extra side effects to your conditioning and I’m right here. I’m offering you Hope County's most wanted on a silver platter too, won’t Joseph be so pleased?” It was said with some sense of irony and sarcasm but your gut dropped when Jacob sent you an irritated look.

He threw your wrist down in a disgusted fashion. “John was wrong, Deputy. Your sin is pride.” He spat back. “And the truth is, Joseph has asked us to stop trying to get you on our side so aggressively. No more kidnapping. Unless...”

That was news to you. Peggies were still trying to gun you down left and right. However, you played along. 

“Unless?”

“Unless you’re coming along willingly.”

You screwed up your face at the idea for a second, before you realised... No one could fix this, other than Jacob. Guilt over what had happened to Nick still made you feel physically sick. You would have to find a way to make amends when you weren’t such a danger to your friends. 

Slowly, you nodded. “Okay.”

Another startling grin appeared on Jacob's face. He lifted a radio he had in one of his pockets. “Joseph?” He spoke into it. That familiar voice piped back, announcing he was listening. “I got them.”

***

The walk back to Jacob's compound had been uncomfortably long and hot. The midday sun beat down on you. Jacob had insisted you walk a few paces in front of him. ‘No funny business' he had grumbled. You had tried to initiate conversation, but he had told you to shut up so many times that you eventually complied.

If the eldest Seed painted an intimidating picture, it was nothing on Joseph. Middle children were always the fucked up ones. He stood at the gates of the compound, speaking to an undoubtedly loyal follower. Joseph cut them off as soon as he saw you and Jacob. He smiled, which you found creepier than Jacob.

“Deputy, this is such a surprise.” Joseph said, all too pleasantly when you stopped in front of him. You were sure to keep a space between you both. His eyes found your blood stained hands. You probably stank of sweat and stale blood too. “It was lucky my brother found you when he did. I hear you caused quite the scene at Falls End. Apparently Nick Rye has suffered greatly with his injury.”

So news travelled fast in the county. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from snapping back. You felt two pairs of blue eyes burning into your stained skin. Any aggressive action could cause you being shot at very quickly.

“I’m sure Jacob has already told you. I’ve informed my heralds to cease trying to chase you like a frightened mouse. God has told me you will come willingly, and you have.” He smiled again, raising his hands a little, upturning his palms. “Isn’t in wonderful? You may come and go from the compound as you please. You are a guest here. Jacob,” He looked over your shoulder. “Be sure the deputy is given a room and food.... And a bath.” A bath sounded good, but you hate the way he had said it. As if you took pleasure in being covered in deer blood. Slowly, he looked back at you. “I must take my leave, but our paths will cross again soon. Goodbye, Deputy.”

You didn’t reply, but thankfully Joseph didn’t wait for one. He walked past you, pressing his head against Jacob's before getting in the passengers side of a Peggie truck, driving out of sight.

Jacob let out a soft sigh. “Come on. Move it. I’ll show you your room when we get back.”

“Get back? We just got here.” You retorted. Your body begged for a bath and a proper bed to sleep in, but it seemed you would have to wait longer for such comfort. 

“You’ll see.” He answered vaguely. It unsettled you further than you already were. You didn't trust this, but what choice did you have. The wolf remained at the compound as you followed Jacob past the walls of his accommodation. 

It wasn’t long before you came across a large, round cage, a little part detached from the compound. Bodies lay about. Others stood, clutching at themselves. A few clutched at each other. When they saw Jacob approaching, some began shrieking, running to the farthest possible end of the cage. Some lay, petrified with fear.

Your eyes widened with horror. “Jacob, what the fuck?” You breathed, stuck to the spot.

“Move.” He said firmly, unlocking the cage. The door pushed open easily. Despite your hesitation, you walked into the cage. Was this to be your promised bed? The thought made you uneasy, but maybe you could help these people. “Welcome,” Jacob said as he stood in behind you, locking the cage door after him. “To the failed soldiers. Those the conditioning was unsuccessful on, or those who are unfaithful to Eden's Gate.”

Some faces you vaguely recognised. No one significant. A few people's faces seemed to regard you with recognition, mostly likely knowing you as the rookie deputy. Your title was almost like a superhero persona nowadays. “Why did you show me this?” You demanded, wrapping your arms around yourself. You noticed that some of them were uncomfortably skinny, others covered in faeces.

There was a loud clunk as Jacob threw something to the ground. Your eyes quickly followed. A gun lay in the dirt. 

Jacob's hand dipped into his inner pocket, lifting out that dreaded music box.

“NO-!” You screamed, but it was too late. The pain in your ear that had vanished was now back with a vengeance, spreading like an unrelenting migraine. There was no ringing this time, no humming, but you could hear the music. Red poured into your sight.

You pounced on the gun, twisting around and successfully shooting the closest person in the head. Most people began to panic now, scattering like terrified mice, clawing at the cage walls for freedom. Desperate to escape your wrath.

Pop. Another one. Pop. Three. Pop. Four. Pop. Five.  
They fell like dominos. Too easy. Having the gun in your hand felt heavenly. 

A couple people remained.

“Good.” You Heard a familiar voice. “Cull the herd. Eliminate the weak, deputy.”

Click. Click. Empty gun. Two people were left. You ran for the bigger one, tackling him to the ground. It was a struggle, but you brought down the pistol on his face until he stopped moving. You rose, snapping your neck towards the smaller one. She was severely skinny. Starving. Slow.

You sprinted at her, catching her screaming form easily. She went deathly silent after a loud crunch. She had broken her neck on the fall. Your head snapped up again, still seeing red, eager to take your anger out on the nearest living thing.

Jacob.

You climbed off the girl's frail body. With a yell, you ran head first at the man.

Shaking his head, he swung, connecting easily with your jaw. You hit the ground, unable to stand such a hard punch. You tried propping yourself up on your elbows, but a firm kick to your side had you sprawling on your back with a cry of pain.

A boot was suddenly pressed against your throat. You gasped for air. Your hands, now covered in blood old and new, reached up, grasping at Jacob's pant leg. The red rage began to slip away, but it still lingered. The song had stopped.

“W-why?” You wheezed, feeling tears from anger and exhaustion slip from your eyes. You dug your nails into his leg. If it hurt him, it didn't show in his face.

“Because you’re an idiot. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to use Hope County's most wanted. I needed rid of these pathetic wastes, and you did it so well.” Jacob spat, putting more pressure on your neck with his boot. You whined for air that was quickly becoming more and more restricted. “And don’t you ever fucking dare try to attack me again. You will lose, because you. Are. Weak. I could crush your neck right now if I wanted.”

You almost wanted him to. To put you out of this torture. Instead, he pulled another, smaller gun out of one of his many pockets. “Next time, use your fucking head.” He said, turning to point the gun at your leg. It stung as the bullet hit you, but not like a typical gunshot wound. Bliss bullet. 

You lost consciousness fast.

***

If you were honest, you were getting pretty fucking sick of losing consciousness and waking up again in a different place. At least it wasn’t outside this time. You had woken up in an unfamiliar softness. Opening your eyes, you spat up quickly, wincing when your body protested. You were in a bedroom you didn’t recognise.

There was a curtainless window to your right, showing off the night sky. You jumped up quickly to look out, hissing when your thigh throbbed. You looked down to find yourself in pyjama shorts and plain T. Your body was clean, other than the odd bruises you had and the new large one caused by the bliss bullet.

Meaning Peggies undressed, washed and then dressed you. The thought made you shudder.

You continued to the window, scowling at the sight. Cages and wounded people for as far as the eye could see. People lay around on the ground, others paced around the cages like animals.

Then you remembered what Jacob had made you do. All those people, innocent and tortured people. Gone within moments. You barely even remembered their faces. “I fucking hate you, Jacob.” You hissed to yourself, allowing a few bitter tears to slip out. 

Sniffing hard and wiping your eyes, you decided no more tears. You wouldn’t let any of the Seeds see you cry or make you cry again. No more weakness. You took a deep breath and looked around. It was time to explore. You carefully made your way to the door which, to your surprise, clicked open. “Huh. Guess I really am a guest.” You mumbled.

You cringed when the door squeaked open, leaving it open behind you. Silence followed, other than a faint whimpering, but you figured it was coming from outside. The men and women in cages were always screaming about something.

Finding a set of stairs, you tip-toed your way down them, grateful when they made minimal noise. The place was empty of any Chosen or Judges, yet you knew they lurked around outside. As you surveyed the dark living area, an idea struck you; If you found radio, you could maybe find Nick to apologise to him.

You remembered the office Staci Pratt had pulled you into. Suddenly thinking of Staci, you promised yourself your next step after the radio would be to find your friend. Slowly creeping back upstairs, you started the hunt for the office. You worried you wouldn’t find it in this massive place, but you found it after peering into only a couple rooms.

Gently, you closed the door behind you, silencing the soft crying. “Radio... Radio...” You whispered to yourself, searching with just your eyes. It wasn’t hard to miss the black box on one of the desks. “Yes!”

The radio was just like all the others, meaning you knew how to use it. You just prayed Nick was listening in. Fiddling with it, you held the receiver to your mouth. “Nick Rye. This is the deputy calling for Nick Rye, do you copy?” 

Static.

You tuned into another frequency, repeating yourself. Nothing. A third time. Nothing again.

“Fuck...” You whispered, pressing the receiver to your head before lifting it down again. “Nick, if you can hear this... I'm so fucking sorry, man. It was the Seeds that did this to me. I would never hurt you on purpose, I-"

Your voice cracked as tears threatened to fall again. So much for your promise to yourself. You went quiet, biting your lip to stop a sob.

“Deputy? Deputy, where the hell have you been?” A voice crackled back. It was so sudden that you had jumped, almost dropping what was on your hand. It wasn’t Nick, but you knew that voice anywhere.

“On my god, Eli. Is that you?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for reading! If you made it this far, you're probably curious as to what's going on. All will be explained in due time. This is my first attempt at a slow burn fic, so please bear with me. At least eleven chapters are planned for this.


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